Clearly, I'm Not a Plant Person...

  I can lick a banana slug and laugh about itI can brave -20 degree snowy weather in a summer-y dress and high heels I can hike up high and rocky places even with my bad knees

...but I cant... 
keep a plant alive !!! haha!
If this was a love fern ala "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" - our love would be past dead.