Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and....


"When you hurt, i hurt" - I remember my parents telling me that when i was much younger and i never really understood it until now. Not that i have kids of my own now (or do i...? ;P) but i've experienced this with my fiancee. Especially lately. 

He recently developed tendonitis on both of his wrists due to the nature of his job (at first we thought it was from working out and playing too much video games, haha) and he's feeling pretty helpless. He's  lost a lot of weight because he can't eat properly, he can't sleep properly, he can't do anything as easily anymore. 

I feel lost. 

How am I supposed to help him? Sometimes I wish I was a physiotherapist so I could just take care of him. Instead all I can say is "it will get better, i promise" or "i understand" but do i? I've never experienced not being able to do basic tasks due to losing the function of my hands. It breaks my heart at the end of every work day when i ask him how his day was. Since I can't be of any medical help to him... I guess I can just be there to listen and provide comfort as a friend and as a wife-to-be. 

"For better or for worse, in sickness and in health... " right?

Have you ever been in a situation where someone close to you was hurt and you couldn't do much about it?

28 comments:

InsideOut Elle said...

I think you just empathizing and being with him is the best thing ^_^ I hope he gets better soon~

izumi said...

the best thing i think is just to be there for him.. listen to him.. be as supportive as possible.. and don't like.. don't coddle him, hahaha. i hope he gets better!!

// krissy ♥ said...

First, I love that song. It has a very calming effect on me :)

Thankfully I haven't been in that position yet, but I do hope that when and if I do then I would know how to handle it. I pray that he gets better soon! Has he gone to the doctor already? Maybe there are some massages that will help him get better.

Shingo T said...

I'm probably just as helpless when my significant half is not well. The only thing I do is to cheer her up with my crazy antics, and more importantly, just being there.

I like the "I will try to fix you" pic. It's very meaningful.

You are a great partner, Kym!

Stephanie said...

aw, I'm sorry you both are going through this. I hope things get better.

tessatham said...

Hey Kym,
I can relate to this post. I've felt so helpless that I feel like whatever I do only adds to the problem, so I ended up just distancing myself away from that person. Which .. didn't work out so well.

I really think your support and your love will be felt and seen, and I know that he definitely appreciates you alot.

Will be praying for you two <3

mica said...

hi dear, sorry to hear about the tough times ur partner is going thru @ the moment. what did the doc say abt his condition? will it get better? what job is it anyways that got him injured like that?

definitely yes. my younger brother got into a rather major accident last year. he had to undergo operation cos he had a punctured intestine or something like that. i was back in australia @ that time, and when i got my mum's phone call my heart dropped. apparently the impact was so great that he had the seatbelt mark imprinted on his chest. it pained me to hear that, cos he's still young n yet been thru so much (drug complication thereafter).

but he's more or less recovered now. gained back his weight n starting to get active with light sports again. thank god.

im sure ur partner will get well soon, so keep ur hopes up!

Love, mica

.maitai said...

:( I'm sorry to hear all this Kym! I can't imagine what it must be like for you and for him...I think that IS all you can do too, just to be there for him to vent and to comfort him. I hope things get better soon for you two!

Andhari said...

I'm so sorry Kym. I understand the feeling of not being able to help people that you love but by being with him through all this is already very good. Hopefully you guys find a good medical help, or a therapist. *hug*

Nashe^ said...

SUPERlove the photo. The best thing to do is just be there for him, I guess. You don't have to insist that you "understand" or anything but empathizing helps!

Don't feel too bad, I bet he knows it's hard for you as well to feel as helpless.

RicAdeMus said...

Right!!! I'm so sorry he's hurting. What does his doctor say? Does he need cortisone shots or surgery? Hopefully it's not that serious yet. My dad was a mechanic and had trouble with his right elbow.

Guys have a funny, irregularly drawn line between not wanting help and enjoying being helped. I think the more we need it, the less we want it. I might be more willing to accept help if my wife said she wanted to help me for her peace of mind and because she loved me--not because I needed it. Beyond offering your help, just be there for him and be you...that will make him well in no time! =)

I haven't been in that situation because of an injury, but illnesses have put there. It's miserable. Remember to take care of Kym too, it's hard to be supportive if you get run down.

RicAdeMus said...

PS - That is one of the sweetest pictures of adults I've ever seen.

de.lizzy.cious said...

all i can say is, you shouldn't underestimate the power of "your presence" to soothe his pain :) you'd be surprised how much people appreciate your presence and motivational words.

p.s i love that photo of you two. ;)

Dirt On The Rocks said...

im sorry to hear that hun. it's hard to really fully understand what the person is going through when you're not really in their shoes. the only thing you can do is provide full mental and moral support. you're a great gal and he's lucky to have you around to help him through tough times. :)

C. said...

is it a condition you can recover from :/ ? I don't really know what to see,I know it's hard to see someone you love in pain..but i've never found a solution to really help them..

Samantha said...

:( i'm sorry kymmie! I really hope thing get better. I know your doing all you can. I know he appreciates just having you as his bestfriend and wife to be. Your his biggest support system! YOU can get him through anything. Promise! Love you <3 Just a whatsapp message away.

Kalmo said...

Oh that is so sad about your fiance, your post and love for him are absolutely heart warming though. I wish you both the best.

ILoveChocolateee! said...

I understand how that feels.
I'm sure he feels better knowing that you're there for him. Hope he gets better soon.

ochikeron said...

oh kym... I'm sorry to hear about this and how touching the picture is... I have tears... at work... oh no...

my mother in law was hospitalized after suffering a stroke, 2 years ago, right before we planned to announce her our wedding... she used to call me about our wedding plan for a long time, but I kind of couldn't anser her at that time... which i regret a lot X( she recovered well but after-effects are still there X(

i totally felt lost... but you know... she is doing her best, so what i need to do is make her days happy! i try to visit her more often and write her more (since i live far away).

but i know it is difficult... your fiance is so close to you X( imagine if my darling... yes... i will X( and of course, we have to thank for being healthy everyday.

he will recover! please smile!!! that's i believe what he wants from you!!! my darling says me that everytime i ask him what he wants in that situation...
(guys are simple, so maybe that is truly true!)

RicAdeMus said...

I hope I didn't let you down, you're one of my favorite people. (Did you notice I didn't say "bloggers"? :P) You have a wisdom well beyond your years and it's nice to be able to get your views on things, even though you're so...young. LOL But seriously, it's an honor to know you.

Little Miss Tiara said...

:( I am sorry for you two, I hope he'll get better soon, I have no idea what tendinitis is but... hey, at least he has you by his side! I mean, it wou;d be worse to face it all alone, right? And I know he knows you've tried your best and he must be very thankful for it :) so don't be sad, mm hmm? Because when you're hapy he'll be happy too! Get well soon kymmie fiancé! :D

abby | ybba said...

kym!

i feel the same way when your parents say "when you get hurt, i get hurt" and lately i've been saying it too.

and i know how you feel about the whole sickness thing and you can't do anything about it.

actually a month ago, chris got this really bad migraine... thank god he got it during his days off but i wish i could've done something to make it go away... but instead i just stuck by his side and let him know that i'm here for them.

actually, it's nice to know that someone is there for you even though they're not going through the same exact physical pain as you... right? i'm sure your significant other appreciates your company :}

awwww and this is totally a good sign! unconditional love <3

MKL said...

Hope he gets better, Kym. Hug!

Sonia said...

Yes I have...and it broke my heart. But things happen, and at least we're all around to help at the time. Here's wishing your fiancee well, kym. See you in the PI! :-)

Cookie said...

I can't say I know exactly how you feel Ate Kym but I hope your Mr. gets better soon!

나니 said...

I wish your man the best : D You deserve to be happy! He's so lucky to have you!

And yeah.. I've experienced something really bad as well - I think we all have. We so badly wanna help, but sometimes you just have to realize and admit to yourself, that you cannot save the entire world. You can only do so much. One person very close to me was raped.. another suffered from anorexia.

Trish said...

i was sort of in the same situation before, where i couldnt do anything to make him feel better, but give him lots of love & support, i hope your fiancee feels better soon!

Butakimu said...

I'm sorry about your situation. It must be really tough. I watched my ex go through migraines and I couldn't do much and it frustrated me to no end. I think you're doing a great job though. I'm sure he appreciates ots of love, support & huggies ^-^