Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Dad Knows Best

from my brother and sister-in-laws engagement photo session, taken by good friend abotz.

Time to get personal.

I started dating at a very young age, even dating guys behind my parents back when I was in my tween years. As I got older, I started to realize that... hey, maybe my parents are on to something when they don't approve of someone i'm dating. As I continued dating, I started looking to my parents for red or green lights... my parents were obviously older and had a lot more wisdom than I did... which is probably why my previous relationships never lasted that long b/c if my parents didn't approve, i didn't either. When I started dating my current boyfriend, I again looked to my parents for guidance whether this was a great idea or not... I got the green light. 

Through the almost 3 and a half years we've been dating, there have been good times and definitely bad times. My parents are like my best friends - I go to them whenever I need advice on life... relationship advice especially.

Last night, I learned something huge from my Dad... it sounds like common sense but it's surprising how so many people make this mistake.

"Love is not a feeling, it's a choice" 

I've been making the mistake of relying on my feelings all the time and what my dad said made total sense. It can be applied not only in romantic relationships but in relationships in general. 

When you're frustrated with someone, choose to love. 
When you feel like giving up, choose to love. 
When your relationship is seemingly hopeless, choose to love. 

I guess that's why i got the tattoo I got 4 years ago - "Amor Vincit Omnia" (Love Conquers All)... doesn't it?

What's the best lesson you've learned from your Dad?


// krissy ♥ said...

This is such a sweet post :) And I do realize this makes me sound like a total saddo, but I wish I knew this lesson and kept it to heart before. But oh well, there's nothing I can do about it anymore.

What I appreciate most about my Dad is his selflessness. He has also been our (his children) staunchest supporter and firmest believer :)

RicAdeMus said...

You have such a great relationship with your parents. Most girls want to do the opposite of what their parents suggest. So yay for them and you! =)

My dad's best lesson was being responsible.

Melissa said...

This is such a beautiful and true post! Your dad sounds very caring and wise.

Trish said...

thats cute! i dont remember anything my parents have said right now, but im sure there have been plenty!

in reply to your comment: its weird to be "just friends" & i actually asked him why he wanted to do this alone, but i guess he has his reasons, boo! & thats good to hear that you guys are working on it! =]

Becks said...

Tis very true.

Love is about choosing to put the one you care about before yourself.

Like a bed of roses, the beauty of it overshadows any thorns you may happen to poke yourself on.

Dirt On The Rocks said...

kym i love your post! this warmed my heart, and you're absolutely right. i didn't think about it til now that loving someone is a choice. for years i've depended on my feelings when it comes to relationships in general and this all makes perfect sense.

LMC said...

words of wisdom from Daddy :)

the best lesson i've learned from my Dad was to never underestimate myself and never fall into naivety

Nashe^ said...

Aww Kym's daddy!
The only thing I can think of is my dad telling me to keep my mouth shut when I have nothing nice to say. That's kept me out of trouble more than a few times!

Connie said...

Hey Kym, I'm only booked for Make It and Got Craft so I won't be seeing you for a while :(

... daisy... said...

From my dad I've learned to think with my own head. But I totally agree: parents have a special radar for boyfriends. They seldom are wrong!

MizzJ said...

Awww this is such a sweet post! I think though that your parents have to know the real you if they can be relied upon for advice, which implies that you all have a good relationship. Hmm I can't remember any good advice my dad gave me - perhaps if you can't get something for free, take it? haha

the girl in stiletto said...


kymchister, you're like..... you're like... damn then i guess i really should plan to visit you one day, like sooner rather than later.

thank you so much for your post. like, i really mean it. it came exactly when i needed it.

choose to love.

MizzJ said...

heya! you can see the event page for Jo Koy if you login to FB!

izumi said...

loved this post. hmm, it's hard to pinpoint the BEST thing i've learned from my dad.. i like to think that my character is severely influenced by him -- for the better.

Karen said...

I think the advice from your dad is so wise & real.. love is not just romantic and sweet, but a decision to respect and care for someone through the good and bad. Thanks for sharing girl

JANE said...

It took me years of dating and rebelling to realize that my parents are the people to turn to when it came to choosing a boyfriend. I went through a lot of heartbreak only to come to the realization that my parents love me with all they've got. And I will never spend the future with someone who does not love me as much my parents do.

Stephanie said...

This was such a sweet and nice post. My dad never gave me any love advice, but perhaps it's only b/c my love life is lacking. Thanks for sharing your dad's advice.